“Toddlers and Tiaras” Drinking Game
Watching Toddlers and Tiaras on TLC (Weds at 10pm!) is a frightening look into the dark heart of America’s soulless pageant system… and one of my favorite shows to get drunk to! Here are the rules!
TAKE A DRINK
When you see…
—Strangely Spelled Names (ie Brittannie, Makynli, E’Lexxus)
—An Overweight Mom (Remember, this is a drinking game, not a not-drinking game)
—A Gay Dad (Drink more if the mom is unaware/in denial)
—A Creepy Dad (Drink more if he makes suggestive comments about his daughter’s body)
—A Creepy Judge
When you hear…
—that a girl “pulled out”
—adverb errors (“she did good” “her Lolita monologue went bad”)
FINISH YOUR DRINK/TAKE A SHOT
—If someone WINS A PUPPY!
Please drink responsibly! And remember: it’s not exploitation, it’s empowerment!